According to the National Fatherhood Initiative there is a father absence crisis in America. The NFI website cited the US Census Bureau stating that 19.7 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father in the home. Had I been a child today, I would have been one of those statistics, and the facts about those children are grim. I've lived those statistics and a lot of those outcomes, and thus the reason for this blog. I want to let kids and adults know they do not have to live their whole lives fatherless, and that they do not have to be a statistic or a victim of a society gone wild. I want them to know there is a father who cherishes them, and that knew them before they were ever born. A father who stores their tears in a jar, and is not a creator of the hurt in their lives, but a redeemer of the empty father-sized whole in their hearts.
My father, Master Sergeant Ben Snowden, was killed on his third tour of Vietnam at the early age of 30. I was and am still very proud to be my dad's daughter. He was my hero. I looked up to him my whole life as I got to know him through my mom, my aunts and uncles, his childhood friends, and his Army brothers. From what I gather, he was a character of sorts, extremely tall and lanky, rambunctious, fun-loving, carefree, and caring. I've read letters where he would write home to my grandmother about the Montagard people he was helping in Vietnam, he was especially concerned about the children and the effect the war was having on them. As a child, I didn't understand the ramifications of war, or why a soldier would leave his family. In my heart, I felt deserted, unsafe, and insecure. I wasn't mad at my dad growing up, but I did feel like my mom, my sister and I were not enough to make him stay. Later, an Army buddy of his would explain to me that with the men of Special Forces it wasn't even a question if they would return to war. My dad also mentioned in one of his letters that he was concerned for the younger men being enlisted, and with his experience, I do feel he felt invincible. So there is nothing to forgive my dad, unlike so many other fatherless children. I cannot image the pain they feel over being rejected, unclaimed, or even worse abused by their own fathers. They have an extra layer to heal that I did not have, but they can still find the security and joy of realizing they can be children of our Heavenly Father. A Father that would never hurt them, that gave his life for them, and that will be all they ever need in life.
As for my mom, she was the sweetest mom in the world, but she was just as scared as we were, and therefore, could give us unconditional love, but not the safety and security I so desperately longed for. My mom was from a small rural town and had grown up on a farm. Her own mother had died when she was extremely young, and mom was the baby of her family. To say the least, my mom was very naive to the ways of the world. She was not even driving when my father was killed. Mom's vulnerability would eventually lead her and us down a hard road, and so I want this blog to be a help for single moms, as well as to the fatherless. I cannot imagine how hard it is to play the role of both mom and dad. I know it wasn't what our Heavenly Father wanted for single moms. That is why he commanded the church to take care of widows and orphans, and that is my heart for this blog. To share my road with young girls and single moms so that they don't have to go through the heartache and shame that I have gone through, and that they can find the significance of having a relationship with Jesus way before I did. I pray that it will open their hearts to find the love of Christ.
