If there is any story in the Bible I would not want to identify with it would be the story of Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah! But after studying the story online with Joy from Barn45, I have never identified with a biblical character more than Lot. Lot did not have a father, and Abraham had taken him under his wing to mentor and raise. There came a point where they could no longer stay together because of their herds not having enough land, so Abraham allowed Lot to pick his land. Lot, unfortunately but not accidentally, pitched his tent right outside of Sodom and Gomorrah, an extremely wicked city where not one person was following God, a very depraved and dark atmosphere. Eventually, Lot found himself and his family living within the city gates, much like we all do when we experiment with sin. We take that first drink, or take that drug, or get into compromising situations that tempt us to sin. When you have an orphan spirit, much like I did growing up (even though I had the most loving mom), you fear that Jesus is not enough, so you start looking to other people and other things to fill that gaping whole in your heart. Sometimes those things can even be God given gifts, but then you make them more than gifts, you make them counterfeit gods. We think this person or this job or this lifestyle will complete me, and we live a lie. A deceptive lie straight from satan himself.
So the story of Lot continues when God sends angels to destroy the city of Sodom and Gomorrah, but before they leave Abraham pleads with God if there is anybody righteous in the city would He please spare their lives and save them. God promises Abraham that if there are any righteous He will save them. God does not want any to perish, He loves and pursues His children. He doesn't want you living in sin or even dabbling in sin, because He knows what it will do to you. Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He prowls around like a lion looking to keep you from all that God has for you. He is the father of lies. He can turn your family into an idol, or a seemingly harmless habit into an idol, even a job or a pastorate into an idol. So, God does as He promises, and sends the angels to Lot's house to warn him and his family to flee the city before God destroys it and not to look back. While in Lot's home, ALL the men of the city come to storm down Lot's door so as to have sex with the male angels that have come to save Lot's family and destroy the city. And Lot, in his orphan spirit, goes out to them and offers his daughters in place of the angels. I used to think, why is something so horrible even in the Bible, Lot is suppose to be the one righteous man in this city, so why would he do this? But it occurred to me, it's because of him still not believing in God's goodness or His enoughness. Lot still doesn't truly believe that God can save him, so he is so fearful, he offers his only daughters. His fear of man is greater than his fear of God. I have lived with that almost my whole life. People with an orphan spirit can resort to desperation when they do not place their trust in God. Symptoms of desperation include constant availability to all people, no boundaries (HELLO!), the disease of people pleasing, willingness to compromise our standards to please other people, and a great neediness for validation!! This basically describes most of my life, definitely my younger years and my early years of motherhood, and I still find myself struggling with this from time to time now.
Despite Lot's lack of belief in God to save them or protect them, God does it anyway through the angels (His grace and mercy are so great). The angels cause all the men to suddenly be blind and they go away. The angels then tell Lot to go get his son-in-laws, who refuse God's salvation, and his daughters and wife and that they are going to quickly flee the city before God destroys everything there. Once again, Lot hesitates, but God in His loving mercy and grace, just like he does all His children, has the angels take them by the hand and lead them out. God always provides a way out, you just have to take that small step of faith. I have to take that small step of faith. While they are fleeing the city, Lot's wife, does exactly what the angels told her not to do, and she looks back, and when she does she immediately turns to a pillar of salt. I think she was looking back to the city with longing and regret of leaving, and not believing what God had for her would be far better. She lacked belief in God's goodness. Every time we sin against God, we are failing to fully believe in God's goodness. We are stupid enough to think we know what's best for us, better than the God of the universe. How can we stop doing that? We have to get to know God better. We have to pray for God to open our eyes to His goodness, to how much He loves us. We have to remember DAILY the Gospel which is the good news that God, wanting us as His children, sent His only Son to die a wretched death on a cross to take on all our sins and shame and bear them once and for all, so that when God looks at us, he doesn't see our wretchedness, our sins, but instead when we believe, we take on Christ's righteousness, so we can have a son/daughter relationship with God. We become white as snow, no matter what we've done in the past.
The story does not stop there, and God provides Lot and His daughters a safe place to dwell, but Lot once again in his fear of God's goodness, says He doesn't want the place God provides, he wants to go to this small city of Zoar. Lot didn't want to go all the way to the mountain, because that is where, in the Bible, people went to meet with God, to sit in His presence, to hear from God. When God rescues us, He doesn't desire to leave us where we are, He wants to transfer us to the Light. The Light can be painful at first, or maybe for a while. It may require cutting ties with certain people, or giving up our idols that we have always used to escape pain or numb out, or getting out of an abusive or unhealthy relationship, or it might mean confronting your people pleasing tendencies, or your need for validation. The mountain and the opening of our eyes can be extremely painful because it exposes our sins and all their consequences and all the people that have been hurt by us. It's like a surgery of the heart. Surgery is usually always painful, but afterwards, you, especially in the hands of The Surgeon, will be better than new. You will be transferred to the Light, to a peace you have never known, to joy. You will have contentment in all situations because you know you are in the hands of a good, good Father. I am longing for that place of contentment and am in the stripping away process and it has been painful. Mostly, because I see how I have hurt others. However, I am finally starting to believe in God's goodness and in His love for me and His love for my family. I am ever so slowly releasing my tight grip on the wheel, and allowing God to drive the car. I'm finally starting to love God instead of being mad at Him or scared to death of Him. It is taking lots of prayer, Bible study, and fellowship with people who are already there or struggling alongside me, but it is now a good struggle.
Lot, however, continued to remain in his fear. He refused the transfer to Light, and instead of going all the way to the mountain, he stopped and hid in a cave with his two daughters on the side of the mountain. They were still hiding and fearful, not believing in God's goodness and provision. So while in the cave, after all their belongings have been destroyed in Sodom and Gomorrah, they have salvaged their wine. Presumably, one of their idols that were clinging to desperately. Wine is a good God given gift, but in the hands of someone living in fear or trying to numb out from their dissatisfaction with their life, it can be a highly dangerous thing. And in this situation, that is exactly what this was, because the daughters living in the same fear and lack of belief in God's goodness and provision, decided on a very desperate act. They decided to get their father drunk and sleep with him!! Lot was so drunk that even after happening two nights in a row, he was unaware of what he had done with his daughters. You would think this family is at the point beyond redemption. Time after time, Lot has decided to not believe in God fully, and it has led him to two grandsons being born in incest. These two babies eventually led two groups of people that were constantly against Israel. Everything seemed to be lost, BUT GOD! God in His infinite wisdom and mercy decided to allow Christ's lineage to come through the Moabites. The Moabites were the descendants of the oldest daughter's son. They were not a good people, BUT Ruth was a moabite! And through Ruth and her descendants came Jesus. God chose this highly dysfunctional, incestual, family for His son Jesus to be born. Why would He do that? Why not pick a perfect righteous family (really there is no such thing). but He picked this family to show nobody, no family is beyond redemption. He is not only our Savior but He is our REDEEMER!! We just have to believe, repent, and turn and follow Him. We no longer have to look to counterfeit gods that only temporarily satisfy us or numb us to our pain, but we can turn to the true God of the Bible that fills our heart with his all encompassing love. We become His children and we can get rid of all fear because He cares for us. Just take His hand, take that first step toward the mountain, pray and spend time with Him, and let Him open your eyes to all that He has for you. I promise you you won't be sorry!! He is enough!
#trustinGodsgoodness
#orphanspirit
#leavefearbehind
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